Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
