also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
