My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize