k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
