I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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