Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
