i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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