I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
