Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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