I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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