Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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