So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
