Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
