I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
