put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Liz is crying about burritos again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
