I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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