How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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