We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My ATM looks so different sober.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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