So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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