Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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