bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
