Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
