Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I smell stomach acid.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
