he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
