just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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