I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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