You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
