i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
