Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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