I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
