he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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