My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
