Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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