her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
