she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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