is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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