at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Life without a bra equals bliss.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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