that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
