my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
