i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
