I like to think it a success when the cops are called
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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