i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
