He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
