so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
