You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
