when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
