And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
