Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
