Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
