you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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