Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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