I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
