covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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