No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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