Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
