WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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