Yo dont text me then not text me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
