Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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