woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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