the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
