On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
