i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
