i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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