It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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