So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
