reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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