I'm gonna have a badass scar
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
