This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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