Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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