You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize