I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
