we have officially lost it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
