I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize