its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
