I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize