Christians are straight up FREAKS
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
did i just pee glitter
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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