I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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